For a couple, there are no strict rules about what constitutes an affair. The betrayal happens when there is a breach of trust on what you both agreed to.
This could be a one off minor incident or a long-term affair. The point is that one of you feels betrayed.
In relationship counselling we deal with:
- People who want to explore the possibility of rebuilding their relationship
- People who are having trouble moving on when their previous relationship ended in infidelity
- People whose families have experienced divorce and they want to avoid the same thing happening to them
- Partners who are having an affair but are not sure which way to commit
- Partners who suspect their partner is having an affair but have never confronted them
- Couples who are struggling with the fear a relationship happening
The three stages of healing are:
Coming to terms with the affair by normalizing the feelings of a profound sense of loss that the betrayed person is experiencing and the unfaithful partner being confused and conflicted in their feeling.
Deciding on which way to go from here. This is a time of exploring your options and making a sound decision, not one based on pure emotion which can often be misleading. Your circumstances and needs should be considered.
Rebuilding your relationship. This is no easy task and it could take months or even years to build up to the relationship you had before the affair. This is a time where the couple looks at the meaning of the affair and for each partner to understand what went wrong.
There is no doubt that an affair or betrayal causes deep pain and one that some are unable to move past. There are however those who choose to recommit. It may be an regrettable experience that was a warning that there are problems in the relationship that in fact can result in a better and healthier relationship.
Whatever the circumstances, your relationship may be worth the fight. The only way to know is to try.