Most of us are working from home now or your daily lives are compromised in some way or another. This puts unneccessary strain on relationships that normally survive or thrive with the many extra layers that life has to offer, up until now, such as work, social events, movies, gym, restaurants, coffee shops, etc.
The relationship that is most likely to be tested during a time such as this is our romantic one. Life as we know it, is now being bombarded by news that does not seem to get better, there is little good news as we are being affected in every corner of the globe and every part of our lives.
As we start to become unsettled through boredom, uncertainty, financial instability, health concerns and the fear that takes over the as the world struggles with these unprecented times, we must try to find ways to be as calm as possible and not lose the connection with what should be the most positive part of our lives – our partners.
UNDERSTAND THAT THE FEELINGS YOU ARE EXPERIENCING RIGHT NOW ARE NORMAL.
Some people feel stronger than others for many reasons such as age, circumstances, past history, support networks etc.
Fear is the number one change that has come into our lives. Fear of the future which includes loss of work, health, finances, lifestyle, family (possibly vulnerable ones) and friends through isolation, the future, our children’s educations and the uncertainty of everything.
It is therefore important to respect your partner’s fears and be understanding of their way of dealing with these issues, which may be very different to yours.
– amount of time watching the news, talking about the problem
– amount of time talking about finances/work/health/other concerns
– lack of interest in ‘lightening up’ thinking about other things
– lack of interest in daily routines – cleaning, washing, cooking, etc.
IF YOUR ARE THE MORE POSITIVE HALF OF THE PARTNERSHIP, THEN YOUR INPUT IS INVALUABLE BUT YOU MUST USE THIS WISELY AND CAUTIOUSLY
– your partner will need to watch the news to be informed. Being informed helps people overcome the anxiety that they feel when they feel uninformed. There comes a time however, where too much news can be unhelpful.
It is important that you –
– be honest but caring and helpful. Help your partner unattach from their anxiety by suggesting you do something different.
– communicate that you understand their need to be informed at this time. Telling your partner that they are boring, obsessed or a TV addict just makes your partner
more anxious and insecure than they are already feeling.
IF YOU ARE THE ONE STRUGGLING WITH ANXIETY AND YOU HAVE A STRONG NEED TO CONCENTRATE CONSTANTLY ON THE NEWS OR NEW INFORMATION, THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO IS TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PARTNER.
He or she is possibly totally unaware of the level of your fears and can sometimes perceive this as your lack of interest in them.
It is important to ‘own’ these feelings as it helps you to cope and react to them in a way that your partner can understand. Without this communication, resentment and distancing (as opposed to social distancing) will result. Without this communication, your partner will feel blame, tension and a feeling of inadequacy.
IF YOU NAME YOUR FEELINGS, IT TAKES THE PRESSURE OFF YOUR PARTNER AND ONTO THE PROBLEM