Feeling frustrated or angry? Therapy can help.
Life can be very frustrating. Traffic, work conflicts, children pushing us to our limits, arguments with family, money worries, and so much more conspire to make life more difficult than it needs to be. Anger is most often the product of frustrating emotions that you have not properly managed.
Even the most loving relationships at times involves conflict and anger. This is especially challenging when one or both of you are prone to anger.
What is Anger Management?
Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Recognising the signals of anger and becoming aware of how your anger works is the first step to change. By focussing on the recognition of ‘the warning signs’ that your are becoming angry and implementing techniques you can begin to diffuse the anger before you no longer have control and the emotion escalates.
Anger has signals in our bodies, our emotions, our thinking and our actions. The goal of anger management is not to suppress these feelings but to reduce the intensity associated with this. By being offered alternatives that can help you manage them better, you will find that you will have more control of yourself in situations that you previously felt overwhelmed.
How do I know I need help?
The problem with anger is that it can come out whenever you least expect it leaving your spouse and family feeling deeply affected.
The good news is that you don’t have to live with anger. If you feel you or your partner are unable to cope with your temper or if it’s affecting those around you, counselling can definitely help you.
Are you finding it difficult to manage your anger? Below are a few questions that are intended to help you consider your personal situation more closely.
- Do I find it difficult to control my anger?
- Does it come out in ways that hurt others or yourself?
- Is it disproportionate to the situation?
- Do you struggle expressing feelings other than anger?
- Do you become angry on a regular basis?
What to expect
Anger management in the context of couples counselling focuses on helping you find more effective ways to manage your anger, even if the rest of your life does not change.
Better still, in helping you to manage your anger, it can actually reduce the number of incidents—particularly conflicts with others—that make you angry in the first place. You can’t change if you do not know what’s wrong, and your therapist will help you and your partner identify problematic thoughts and feelings.
Some of the things we’ll talk about include:
How anger affects your life and relationship and creates a cycle of issues
What contributes to your anger
Healthy expressions of anger versus destructive/abusive expressions of anger.
Common relationship problems and how to safely address them
Gentle questioning of your behaviour and habits
Help setting and working toward specific goals
Assistance managing challenging emotions
- Help understanding whether this relationship is one worth preserving
Support can lessen your burden
You should never be afraid to reach out when you think that you might need help. For many, the decision to seek counselling can be a tough one, and many clients come to me with intense anxiety about the process. I want to assure you that counselling changes lives every day, and can save even the most deeply troubled relationships. You may be surprised at how quickly you can benefit your relationship and your life.
What if my partner doesn’t want to come to counselling?
This will be a judgement-free and compassionate space to discuss your feelings without worrying about those feelings being revealed to another person. Even if your partner refuses to come, counselling can help you find better ways to manage your own reactions to either your own or your partner’s anger.